There are three distinctive sounds that run on replay each night: the sound of a motorcycle zooming down the block, the sound of car alarms going off in response to said motorcycle's powerful engine, and the sound of emergency sirens. Of the three, its the sirens that bother me the most.
Its been 7 years since I've lived amongst sirens. They are a reminder of why I said I never wanted to raise my daughter in this kind of environment, however, the people that I share my new community with, are a reminder of everything I loved about where I grew up!
Once you get a taste of what's on the other side of the fence, and you learn that things could be better than what you've lived in/grown up around, its hard to go back to where you came from, especially if you aren't taking resources back with you. Its hard for folks who do have resources to go back to where they came from, for fear of never being able to leave again or being stripped of everything they feel they have worked so hard for. I came into this situation with such a complex. I've been learned how to get past that though, because each day I realize that each time I open my mouth and talk with someone, whether they are in my shoes or not, I am giving back.
Great Barbara!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Barbara! I completely feel you. I was raised in what I thought to be a fairly decent neighborhood until I was able to get out, go to college and make moves. I recently moved back near my childhood neighborhood and was in complete culture shock. The only thing that changed about that neighborhood was me! I never realized the environment I was raised in until I was able to experience better. I say this because I know how you feel and as a mother, you want nothing but the best for Emma. Trust me, you are doing a hell of a job!
ReplyDeleteEmma
Thanks Kiki!! Culture shock is right. And it sneaks up on you too. You never leave your community with the attitude that "that's where the bad people are and I ain't goin' back". You never wanna become one of those people either. But, when you've been gone for a while and you go back, your eyes are opened AND you learn who you really are. It can be a humbling experience. Like you, I didn't recognize my neighborhood as one that should be forgotten, in fact, I would argue people down about the things that they said about where I was from. I made it a point to let them know that greatness can be found within the hood. Being educated, and at rock bottom, lol, has reminded me of the beauty and the greatness that I fought so hard to highlight when I was younger.
ReplyDelete