Tuesday, January 22, 2013


The other day, a friend read to me about love.  More specifically, a friend read to me about the languages of love.  Love has a language?  Love has more than one language?  You learn something new everyday.

Apparently, according to Gary Chapman, there are 5 languages of love.  My friend determined that her love language is actually a mix.  She's a lot of Words of Affirmation with a little Physical Touch.  She needs to hear what one is feeling, especially when it comes to feelings about her.  Verbal appreciating keeps her "love tank" full.

I, on the other hand, have had an overdose of Words of Affirmation.  Over the years I've realized, that for me, words without action don't mean a thing.  While a little Physical Touch goes a long way with me, I run on Quality Time.  It's just one of those things that I find so important, and this is coming from a woman who likes to hide out in her apartment!  There is nothing more gratifying than spending time with someone and having their "undivided attention".  There is nothing more gratifying than feeling like, within that moment, it's just all about me/us/we.  

Seems so simple doesn't it?  Yet, I don't remember ever voicing this need, in this way, in my last relationship.  And looking back, at all the things he did and didn't say, I can now clearly see that, like my friend, he is a mix of Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch - with a whole lotta introvert thrown in for fun.  I'm not saying that knowing this now would remove the "ex" from our current titles, but if the knowing would have been in those earlier years, perhaps we would have survived what he came to realize was unsurvivable.  Hmph...

Yes, you learn something new everyday.  Love and communicate are no exception.  


  1. After taking the survey I am apparently more physical touch than words of affirmation. Yet only 2 points separates them, so I'm possibly bilingual.
    Barbara, I want you to know that I loved spending the day with you Sunday. I don't think I've ever sat down and read to you before. It was fun. Now that I know that your love language is quality time, I'm glad we had those hours together doing something we both love. Although I don't think the activity is as important as knowing how much I truly love just being with you. I plan to make an effort in our relationship to spend more quality time with you. I want to love you in YOUR language. I want nothing more than to know I'm doing everything possible to help fill your love tank. Because this is not a language I'm fluent in please help me by giving me suggestions on things I could do to help you feel my love. In no time I will become fluent in how to love MY Barbara. Yes...you are my best friend and I love you with all my heart and vow to love you in your language until the day I die.

  2. Is it inappropriate for me to burst into tears at a public library? I hope not, because I just might. Perhaps the physical touch is answering to your age, lol. I know, and you know, that your language is words of affirmation. I want Mr. Wonderful to learn your language!! And I know he will. I loved spending time with you too. It was like the first time I'd seen you/spent time with you this year! No, you've never read to me before, I enjoyed it :) Thank you for sharing one of the things that you love most, with me: words. You don't have to ever worry about doing enough... you do and have done beyond enough!! I appreciate everything you have ever done, and all that you continue to do. I appreciate the fact that Emma and I are a part of your family and that you and everyone are a part of ours! THAT is love!