I Had a Feeling

It was after 9pm, and we were in the midst of our usual, reading all about the Adventures from the Black Lagoon. Those sounds, those distantly familiar POP POP POPs, sounded as if they were right outside our window. The fact that we are located on a second floor immediate started the wheel turning in my brain. My mind left the story and settled on the idea of stray bullets flying through the window. Can't you just see the headline now? Mother is Struck and Killed by Stray Bullet as She Reads Bedtime Story to Daughter. Its not like mothers don't ever take bullets that were meant for someone else. I just had a feeling. The sounds were too close and I was too uncertain. Was this a drive-by? Were they just shooting up in the air? And if so, where do those bullets usually land? And then came the second hail of gunfire, this time more automatic, followed by the loud screams of sirens about 5 minutes later.

I told Emma that we'd save the next chapter for the next night. I tucked her in and hit the lights. A mixture of concern and street smarts. I've been hear before. I'm equipped to deal with this. But this time, I have a child to protect, one who knows nothing about street survival, about hood survival, one who peeked through the blinds upon hearing gunshots for the very first time in her life. Lord, I forgot this child grew up in Albany, where folks don't do shit quite like this.

An announcement over the radio during the morning commute, and so it was confirmed.

"A stray bullet went through the wall of a house in the 1100 block of 89th Avenue, hitting a 49-year-old man who was in his bedroom watching television. He was hit in the back and is expected to recover... six wounded in East Oakland shooting... It was the most victims shot in Oakland at one time since nine people were shot Oct. 31 at a downtown Halloween party" - The Oakland Tribune

When the Comments Section Isn't Enough: Final Thoughts

Oh cute and colorful Ana Gazawi, your comment about "big girl panties" was very entertaining. In case you're still snooping, I'd like you to know that I actually never leave home without them. I was thinking that perhaps I could put em' on a postcard for you, that way, my ass would always be readily available for you to kiss it.

Moving right along in no particular order...

1. The last I checked, this --->here<--- was "my" personal space, which means by default, I get to say, state, share, mention, etc whatever the fuck I want, whether it be a minute by minute account or a recollection from 20 years ago.

2. This blog is not commercial or here to attract a following or writing for an audience or focused on making the blogosphere happy or changing the world or any of that shit. In other words, I'm not writing for you or even to you, I'm writing for myself, because its therapeutic (ie. if I wanna purge within my own space, you can read it, however, don't feel the need to tell me I shouldn't be doing it). MY thoughts, MY feelings. Now, if you so happen to read what I've written and it doesn't sit well with you , either poke your own eyes out or, as my great-grandmother use to say, scratch your ass and get glad. Your choice. Or, if you don't feel like making a lot of effort, you can just make a note to self not to come back by here. See, problem solved.

3. For the folks who were having a hard time understanding why I chose the words I did and why I delivered them the way that I did, aside from what has already been stated in #1, the post in question did have "continued" in the title, which means that there was a post preceding it. Its ok if you hadn't noticed, really it is. Anyhoo... post in question was the ass end of bitchassness that was much more current than that of the asshole collective.

4. Let's talk even more about blog posts. I think they're awesome. We all have a voice and we all get to use it how we see fit. You'll get no arguement from me there. In fact, I don't think we should even ever censor our writing, just let the true YOU shine through, whoever that may be. Its just better that way isn't it? I have no issue with differing views and opinions in blog posts. I, as all of us do, have the choice not to read/participate in them if I don't want to. However, when you have placed a badge/button in support of a cause all up and through your site, without informing those whom it may be offensive to who are also a part of the site, the element of choice is eliminated. A member does not get to choose whether or not they are in support because the decision has already been made and displayed. But, who gives a fuck, right?

5. To date, I have never been released, asked to leave, denied access to anything MOH related (sorry Ana and company). I simply made the decision not to move forward with them because I was no longer comfortable doing so, which included not signing on with the We of Hue network when invited.

Did I miss anything? If so, let me know.

I'm Doin' Me!

Life is too damn short to live unhappily!