Now Taking Applications for the Mental Breakdown Club

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Maybe it'll be a win-win, because, you know, most of the greats were/are mentally disturbed in some form or another...

I've always said that, if I could have chosen my mental illness, I would have chosen to be either bi-polar or schizophrenic. No, really. Once you're able to recognize your manic states and decipher the who's who of the voices in your head and the friends in your circle, productivity and creativity take the forefront. Very few productive or creative moments are bore from depression, and those that are aren't necessarily arrived at organically, but rather dug from deep within. Deep rooted expressions of pain are painfully beautiful. Unfortunately, mental breakdowns are not.

Chasing Romance

For the most part, the whole honeymoon stage of a relationship can be one of the most annoying phasing when you're on the outside looking in. Witnessing two love birds who can't turn or make a move without each other, finishing each others' sentences, replacing each others' actual names with nick names... its enough to make you wanna puke and... its something that I miss having.

I remember, way back when, when My Guy and I used to talk on the phone multiple times a day, when I arrived home to find flowers waiting for me on my doorstep, when we used to laugh together, when we went out on dates, when we fell in love. I want that old thang back. Back before he became law enforcement, back before his life became so stressful, back before he met her. Back before I forgot what it is that I really wanted, back before we let life get the best of us and our relationship. And even upon starting over, it seems that the honeymoon phase escaped us. We are forever chasing romance, chasing "us" time, chasing a deeper understanding of ourselves as individuals and as a unit, chasing what comes after "this". Seems that the 'easy' is always made so incredibly complicated.

I just want one, amazingly romantic date. Just one. I want to feel like I'm the center of his world. Like nothing else matters. I want to be wined and dined, showered with affection - none of which has to involve over-thinking whether or not we can afford it. Just one romantically charged night is definitely not too much to ask for.

Somewhere Between Indio and Los Angeles

Is my granddad. Broke down on the side of the road. After repairing two blown out tires, his truck has now overheated. The radiator is completely dry. There isn't a service station in sight, and I am assuming that no other travelers have stopped to assist. His only link to rescue has been grandma and I, over the phone and through the net. We've relayed information for a tow service that will cost him $350. Much more than a single plane ticket for a little old man don't you think? Oh, and did I mention that the $350 doesn't include fixing his busted radiator, that's just the cost of traveling an hour out of their way to bring him an hour closer to home. He wont be joining us tonight for dinner like we thought. Instead, we'll be waiting, wondering and worrying. You know, the usual.

See, you can NOT teach an old dog new tricks!