TGIF!

1. It's time to start asking the hard questions.

2. Hold the mayo ... and don't forget the onions!

3. I'm trying to wait it all out.

4. In response to my comment about going out on a limb, a friend asks, "Legs open or legs closed", that was the last funny comment I received.

5. Please send me lots of energy and motivation.

6. You'd better ask somebody, cause I'm in it for the long haul.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to coming together with the ladies of my Motherless Daughter's Support Group, tomorrow my plans include having the house all to myself and Sunday, I want to get all dolled up for a nice evening out!

What's your Friday and weekend looking like? Click here to participate!

I Declare This a Year of Celebration!

I'm broker than I wanna be, my car still hasn't made it to the shop yet, and I'm gonna have to take another math class before the year is over, but you know what, it's all ok, because I plan to celebrate along the way.

The last real get-away that I went on happened to be the very first real get-away that I'd ever been on. My baby was not yet a toddler, and I almost decided not to go, because, 3 days was just too long for me to be away from her. In the end I was happy to have had the experience with a group of good friends. Fast forward 8 years later, and I'm way overdue for a vacation. And not just a formal one, but also overdue for celebrating the little and most present of things in my life. I want to make some changes this year by putting myself back into the mix. Like I said in an earlier post, I'm always moving myself down to the bottom of the list, and also allowing others to bump me down a few spaces. It has to stop. All a part of my quest to add more self care into my days.

I've been busy this week thinking and planning my mother's celebration. I've been able to chat with my aunts and grandmother to pinpoint the things that she would most enjoy, the things that were most important to her, and also getting a good idea of how to include everyone in the event. I feel like I'm off to a really good start, and feeling a lot better about the process today.

A Liquid Lunch

Blender: Easily the BEST housewarming gift ever!

I'll admit, when my friend gave me this blender, the first drink that popped into my mind was not a smoothie. I was thinking more along the lines of entertaining, but my love for Jamba Juice has made this one of the most used appliances in my kitchen. Emma and I just can not get enough fruit blends into this thing. We love mixing different berries and fruits with different juices and liquids. We have yet to create a combination that we didn't like.


I never have to worry about whether she's getting enough fruits because I can easily get various into one glass. And she enjoys being apart of the process. Smoothies come in handy for myself as well, specially on those days when I'm so busy that I nearly forget to eat. I'm always fulfilled after a glass or two and there is no guilt because its all healthy ingredients.

Do you have any favorite go-to drinks or snacks that you and/or your kids love?

Bedtime Reading: The Period Book

Amazon

It's here. Well, not quite. I could possibly have another year and a half before my baby makes the complete transformation. She's very mature, but still so young. I was young too. 10 years old. I had not taken sex education in school yet, and no one had ever talked to me about puberty, the female body, sex. I only knew where babies came from after having a conversation with my neighbor, who was pregnant with her fourth. My first lesson in menstruation was via a PBS special, and I'm thankful. Unlike other girls, I didn't think I was dying. I knew exactly what was happening when it happened, and I was able to inform my great-grandmother that "womanhood had come on me".

I clearly want something much, much different for Emma. Early bloomers often have early bloomers. After asking my grandmother about her experience, my mother's and my aunts', paired with Emma's developing breasts, I'd say that it's the truth. So, now I'm grooming her for a positive experience. We're reading, we're talking and we'll soon be practicing. I don't want her to view getting her period as some kind of curse. I don't want her to be afraid. I don't want her to feel insecure about her body's changes. I want her to see it all for what it really is - a rite of passage, a complexity of coming of age, and an induction further into a vast circle of sisters.

Although Emma will always be my baby, it's undeniable that she's growing up. I'm determined to try to make every step of the way as enjoyable as possible. In true fem fashion, when she transitions, we'll call on our closest women and celebrate with a Period Party!

"Don't Get Pregnant"

Last month, I was in my doctor's office for my annual exam. Just a routine physical and some catching up on my chart, since she'd been on leave for quite a while. She jumped back into the swing of things as if she'd never been gone. I was actually happy to have her back, since I had been seeing various practitioners in her absence. All was going well until that fateful conversation that we always seem to have during our visits. The one where she tries to pressure me into returning to a birth control method, other than condom use. Over the years, we'd come to an understanding that she'll ask, I'll say thanks but no thanks, and we'll leave it at that. Because, as an educated adult woman, and mother of one, I have the right to choose whether or not I'd like to be on birth control, and more importantly, I have the right to choose whether or not I'd like to be pregnant. In a nutshell, I'm well versed on how to control my ability to reproduce.

During this visit, my doctor seemed to be attempting to lightly "lay it on thick" by not dropping the birth control issue. I decline, and she gives me a mini lecture about the failure rate of condoms. I decline once more, and she suggests that we discuss the issue again at our next visit in a few months, and then IUD falls from her lips. And just to be 100% sure that I got the message, her last words to me on my way out the door were, "don't get pregnant."

Ummmm... excuse me??? I was completely shocked that she'd said those words to me. I would have rather her made a comment about my vagina than make an oppressive statement such as that. It hit me with such force that I went to my car and cried. Cried because it genuinely hurt me. Cried because I felt like I was being judged for being a single mother, with less money than I'd like to have, and a mental illness. Cried because I'd like nothing more than to complete my family with the addition of another little one. Cried because I'm tired of being robbed of the joy of my own desires by comments and thinking like her's.

I'm not naive enough to not understand where she was coming from, but I'm intelligent enough to know when I'm being placed in a box and omitted from certain paths and avenues based solely on my socioeconomic and mental health standing. Bottom line - she was out of line. Now that I've had time to fully process what took place, I will be able to better assert my rights and be present enough in the moment to make it aware to her that I, and I alone, at damn near 30 years of age, have complete agency when it comes to my body.

A Little Hair Time

We got some hair time in tonight. It would have made much more sense to tackle shampooing, conditioning, detangling and styling more than two hours before bedtime, but hey, you know me, I always have to be difficult different. To my surprise, we actually finished 30 minutes before bedtime, granted, we didn't do a lot of detangling. The middle of this length is still a jungle. We'll devote more time on Wednesday with some planned two-strand twists (I've banded to stretch).

And speaking of length.


I love to do these length checks from time to time, just to be able to remind Emma of how long her hair really is. She has her moments of wanting her hair to be straight, particularly for length, so its always nice to be able to show her that she has the length already, and that she can sport her length without having to straighten her hair.

Its been quite a while since I've blown her hair out. Now that my hair has grown a bit, I really want to get some mother-daughter photos taken with some blown out hair. I think they would be some amazing keepsakes. One more great thing to look forward to this year.

Collard Greens & Cornbread, Yeah

Collard greens from last weekend's Farmer's Market

I asked for Winter weather, and this weekend here in the Bay Area, we got it. Chilly, chilly wind and rain. I appreciated the serenity it brought during the night, but when I got caught up today with a broken umbrella and 30 minutes between bus transfers, I suddenly started giving the passing cars the super stink eye.

Back at home, a mug of hot peppermint mocha coffee, and a pot of collard greens brought me back to my happy place.